“I am free!”

“I am free!”

I found myself sitting in church one Sunday and they passed out baby bottles and one of the ladies started talking about what Sound Choices had been doing in the lives of young girls and women who were pregnant. I sat there and listened to the statistics of the babies they had saved from abortion. I heard her talk about how they just loved these ladies and truly listened to them talk. Then I heard them talk about some of the circumstances these ladies were in or came from.

I felt a stirring in me. I felt some emotions arise and I was not sure where they came from. I thought, maybe I could help, maybe this is something I could do. I knew that I wanted to get more involved in my church but I was not sure what I was supposed to be doing.I had been praying about it but I had not heard anything from God. I had been working a lot of hours at my job and it was very stressful. I had been praying to God about helping me handle the stress in my life.
Then some time passed and I did nothing about it. I got busy again. Life went on.

Then, here I am sitting in Church again and someone from our Church who volunteers got up and gave some updates on some events and things going on at Sound Choices. I listened intently and once again I felt like this is what I am supposed to be doing. I even stopped the lady in the hall and asked how I could get involved and she told me what to do. I went to the website and printed off the application and I read the questions and I hesitated, I thought I cannot let these people know what I have done. They will not accept this application. Then I had to have a couple of references, so I put it down on my desk. I couldn’t fill it out.

I kept seeing the lady at church and it reminded me every time I saw her. My life was getting more stressful. I was angry and was not sure why. I was critical with my family.

About a year passed by, then one more time I was sitting at church and someone from Sound Choices came in and poured out their heart about what they do and what they offer to our community. I sat there in tears. I felt that guilt and shame. I had made a choice that was against God’s will.

I filled out the application. I had asked a couple of friends if they would give me a reference, I sent it in, and I waited. When I got the email about the training that I needed to attend, I was very nervous. I was not sure what to expect at all.

When I got there the first time and saw all the ladies in my class, I was amazed and nervous. They started by having us introduce ourselves, tell something about ourselves and then tell everyone what led us to Sound Choices.I was praying at that point. I did not know what I was going to say. I was listening to the other ladies and some new exactly why they were there, they knew they would be doing the ultra sound or the receptionist position.

Then a couple of the ladies told us they had an abortion and told their story. I was not ready to tell anybody what I had done. I am not exactly sure what I said. It was something to the effect of me seeing Sound Choices at Church and I was wanting to get involved and I felt God leading me to Sound Choices.

Then towards the end of the evening we were told that some of us would need to talk with Melissa with Sound Recovery before we could be placed to help others. I ended up letting her know that I would like to talk with her. I was not sure what led me to ask her but the words came right out of my mouth.

I cant explain it, but God was putting me where I needed to be for my recovery. What I did not know was that God had been working in my life for a long time. I just did not respond or take the time to hear him. I had hidden this burden deep down and had been struggling with this for 33 years. I thought I had dealt with all my emotions and had everything right with God but He has a way of getting your attention when he wants you to listen. I felt stressed, worn out, trapped, and weighed down. I do not want to feel that way again.

healing-my-broken-heart-after-abortionI started coming to Sound Choices every week, and when I walked in, I felt the love in this place and it is so amazing. I got to feel and know the Love of my Heavenly Father every time I walked in those doors. I had wanted to feel that for a long time, but I did not feel worthy and now I have felt the arms of God around me with each step that I took.

I cannot express the joy that I feel now. I have now gone through my (abortion-recovery) book and I am free. I am free. God can use me so much more for his glory. I am so thankful that the Lord put me herein a place that I could express what I felt and I got to know and understand who my Heavenly Father is. Thank you all for what you do.